Accept Nothing

I have struggled most of my life trying to be happy and am only now, after 46 years, beginning to understand why.

I realise that I suffer because I refuse to accept what is happening now. I continuously think about some other place - some other time. I worry about what has happened or may happen. I am not here. I am separated from the present. The separation is the source of my suffering.

The present is the only place that exists. It’s where I am.

Separation happens when I attach myself to thoughts. It happens when I identify with them. And when I do this I remove myself from the world – from life. The emptiness that I feel is from being separated. It happens when I abandon myself and live in a fog of thoughts and ideas - outside of myself and inside a dream. A nightmare.

Sometimes I’m so busy with my thoughts I don't notice the nightmare. I’m too busy assembling myself from accumulated regrets and hopes. I’ve become a Frankenstein bolted together from ideas about the past and for the future.

I ask myself – who am I? Then I spend years trying to answer it with thoughts.

I am what stands here and now until the next moment. Until I change again. I am liquid. Energy. Space. I am transforming as I write. I am.

I know who I am and haven’t realised it yet. I am surrounded by reflections of myself. Everyone I meet is another meeting with myself. I am an individual cut from the same cloth as everything else. The fabric of life is complete. The fabric is nothing.

Nothing makes up most of everything. There is more space between the building blocks of life than there are building blocks. Everything comes from nothing. We could not perceive anything of this world if not for the space around it. It’s where we come from. It’s who we are. What a relief to realise that nothing is greater than anything. What freedom there is in accepting nothing.