The freedom I experience comes and goes on a regular basis. The to-ing and fro-ing is my ego fighting for survival. It's fighting for control. It wants to continue the relationship we've had for nearly half a century.
So ingrained is the relationship, so strong is it's hold, that my mind continues to push thoughts over the present until I am again lost in the past or concerned with the future.
My mind is trying to dominate. Body-consciousness reasserts itself and the ego demands attention.
It's a clear and direct action but it is less sustaining than it use to be. By this I mean the volume may be louder but the record is definitely shorter.
Many years of peering through the fog is starting to pay dividends. There is a space between me and my ego - me and my thoughts. I am aware of the minds activity - and it knows it.
It's exciting to watch my life unfold. Observing the old habits operating while suffering fades. The attachment breaking. No longer hanging on to one thought after the other. They pass me by - in and out and back to where they came from. From nowhere.
It's a revelation.
About Me
- Steve
- St Kilda, Vic
- I am 46 years, have a partner and baby daughter. I was born in Scotland and have lived here for 38 years. I grew up South of Adelaide and moved to Melbourne for my acting career. I have recently began to pour through text on spirituality (though this has been a life long practice).
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